Ace in the Hole

This just in (from Pippin's old job as the State Journalist for a county newspaper):

Know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em

Last week three friends were having a friendly card game on the front porch of a (town name) house trailer. Witnesses told the police while the game was in progress, a man stealthily approached the trailer from a nearby wooded area. He jumped up on the porch and started hitting one of the seated participants in the face. The player stood, and was pushed against the trailer a number of times by the man from the woods.

A witness reported hearing the victim saying, "I didn't do anything." One of the card players, a woman, said the antagonist was her ex-boyfriend. She said he was jealous of her new friend. The new suitor probably didn't wager on getting blindsided by some joker during a friendly game of cards.

The defendant told police he was actually just going to see his Queen of Hearts to try and convince her to come home with him. He said that when he got there, he was jumped by her new Jack, and was just defending himself. Yet he did not have his ace in the hole; trumped by the witnesses statements there wasn't a chance in winning that hand. Arrested for battery, now this wild card must be content playing solitaire.

(Some of the writing may be very good, this is actually a first draft I found, but y'all get the gist. Stay off the porch).

- Pippin

i201 Poplar reading program

iMSCL is proud to be working in conjunction with i201 Poplar and iChief Robitron to initiate a new reading program for the "guests" that come to "visit. "

"I am directing all iMPD employees at i201 Poplar to test everyone brought in for reading skills. We will utilize our iLibrary system to provide appropriate reading for our prisoners, whom I will refer to as guests until convicted.

Those that cannot read will be offered the opportunity to be taught. Those that refuse will be read to."

Kudos to iChief Robitron for his innovative thinking and willingness to rehabilitate and educate icriminals. We have a feeling that this initiative will help reduce crime in our icity.

Open for ibusiness

iMSCL is now open for business!

We are, however, running on a short staff, so interested parties apply at our iEmployment office.

Qualifications are listed on the iEmployment website.